When I was a young girl, I used to cry every single time my mum or dad left me. Whilst my cousins were always delighted to go and spend time at our Auntie and Uncle’s, I would always be distraught. Crying myself to sleep until the day they came to pick me up. I just didn’t want to be away from them, a homebird, completely.
Then when I was 15, I got the opportunity to do an exchange visit with a family in the south of France. It would mean travelling solo and making my way across Paris and then south to Clermont-Ferrand. To this day, I still cannot believe that my parents let me go. I left Aberdeen, flew to Charles De Gaulle, which to this day, is my least favourite airport. I needed to change lines twice on the metro, and then get to the Gare du Nord. My heart still beats a little fast when I think about this. Paris was a little grungy in the 90s, and I saw all kinds of sights. When I finally made it to the train station, I had small children grabbing at my skirt, asking for money. I was so nervous. I had no idea what time the next train to Clermont was, so in my best French went to ask. I was met with little to no help, and a man who was more interested in my ‘ taches de rousseur’ ( freckles). Feeling very vulnerable to my situation, I concentrated on the big travel board and noted that there was a train about to depart. I sprinted to the platform and finally was on the SNCF to take me to my destination.
I share this story because it was a formative part of my personal growth. It gave me the strength to know that I could achieve anything, go anywhere, all by myself. Which is why I took the opportunity to go to a concert on my own on Friday night. Again, a liberating experience, what is the point sitting at home, wondering what the gig was going to be like. I would just go. I got to speak to new people, who were slightly surprised at my solo adventure, but equally as supportive, telling me, they wish they could do it too.
I think being alone is a healthy thing, but I absolutely recognise that is so very different to being lonely, which can be painful. For me to comes down to these things
Independence: When I do things alone, I am forced to rely on myself and make decisions independently. This can help me build self-confidence and develop problem-solving skills.
Self-Discovery: Being alone gives me the time and space I need to reflect and learn more about myself. It helps me discover new interests, strengths, and weaknesses that I was not aware of before.
Freedom: When I do things alone, I am free to make my own schedule and do what I want without having to compromise with others. This can give a sense of control and autonomy over my life.
Creativity: Being alone helps me be creative. Without the distractions and opinions of others, I am more likely to write more and come up with unique ideas and solutions.
Relaxation: Sometimes, doing things alone can be a great way to relax and recharge. Whether it's reading a book, taking a walk, or watching a movie, being alone can provide a peaceful escape from the demands of everyday life.
When was the last time you were alone? What did you do with that time?
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